From Tears to a Smile

Last week I stopped by Sweet Tee’s Coffee shop in Olathe and when I came back out to start the car the song that was on my Sirrius/XM radio was “Teach me how to Dougie.” And that is when I realized that my grief had evolved from reminders making me cry or stop and sadly reflect every time. At least most of the time, my healing has moved from tears to a smile.

special needs

I was all smiles and giggles as I drove to work. Quite simply, I cannot hear that song and not think of how much Emma loved to “dougie.” Heck, I’m still not 100% sure I know how to “dougie” even though she showed me a thousand times. Then there was the ever famous inaugural “Night to Remember” Special Needs Dance where her an I had a contest. (That is worth following the link to view, if you have a moment.”

Still, I see her everywhere. Yesterday I was blessed to be surrounded by people I know, love and respect. Yet, I couldn’t walk around their swimming pool without seeing Emma floating around for hours, catching the football, telling me she only likes Doug’s shrimp because he knows how to make them right and asking for a few more minutes when we said it was time to leave. I readily admit some of the visions made me smile. None brought tears. A few made me pause.

Because still, I want to talk to her and hold her and let her know how much she meant to me. Still, I long to see her again…one day. I don’t know when that day will be. Tomorrow or forty years from now, it is not my timeline to know. However, I don’t fear that day like I did as a young man. My spiritual beliefs and research tell me all I need to know. For me it will be a day of rejoicing.

In the mean time, I cannot wait to celebrate Emma’s memory, all of her positives and challenges at the Emma Lengquist Memorial Puppy Parade. We are now only 29 days away. This is gonna be fun. Get registered today so we can raise awareness for physical and mental disabilities, raise money for Inclusion Connections and share some smiles and some memories.